Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
