Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
