omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Small penises have feelings too.
that's an acceptable place to lick
handjob tips. give me some.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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