i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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