Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
