Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize