You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
