I love black thongs
Non-Jews are for practice
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
