This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
