Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
