So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just google imaged poop.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
