i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
