So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
