ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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