I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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