well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
