im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
