Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
