I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
