If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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