We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
