why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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