Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
