Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
