what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize