your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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