He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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