he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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