its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
