are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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