Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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