Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
