her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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