So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
