the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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