You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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