You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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