how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
