Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize