PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
