If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
