he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
