If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We talked him into tasing himself.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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