So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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