dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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