You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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