Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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