so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
