i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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