I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
