He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
