Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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