This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
