I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love accidental penises.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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