In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
