I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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