so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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