So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize