I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
