I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
