I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
