11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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