That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
