White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
