if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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