Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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