Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
