I wanna bring you to show and tell
Duck Duck Cougar?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
